Best Wedding Blog UK

Cheap Beach Wedding Dresses Uk


[crowd cheering] [footsteps echoing] [cheering] [crowd chanting "carrie"] ♪♪ [cheering intensifies] [banjo continues] ♪ jenny grew up wild,like a blackfoot daisy ♪ ♪ out in the shack witha blue tick hound ♪

♪ broke as hell, butblessed with beauty ♪ ♪ the kind that a rich mancan't turn down ♪ ♪ she caught theeye of an oil man dancing ♪ ♪ one summer night ina dime store dress ♪ ♪ she had the looks,he had the mansion ♪ ♪ and you can figureout the rest ♪ ♪ it was all roses,dripping in diamonds ♪ ♪ sipping on champagne ♪ ♪ she was all uptown,wearing that white gown ♪

♪ taking his last name ♪ ♪ she could hear those churchbells ringing, ringing ♪ ♪ and up in the loft, thatwhole choir singing, singing ♪ ♪ fold your hands andclose your eyes ♪ ♪ yeah, it's all gonnabe alright ♪ ♪ and just listen to the churchbells ringing, ringing ♪ ♪ yeah, they're ringing ♪ ♪ jenny was hostingjunior league parties ♪ ♪ and having dinnerat the country club ♪

♪ everyone thought they wereken and barbie ♪ ♪ but ken was alwaysgetting way too drunk ♪ ♪ saturday night,after a few too many ♪ ♪ he came homeready to fight ♪ ♪ and all his moneycould never save jenny ♪ ♪ from the devilliving in his eyes ♪ ♪ it was all bruises,covered in makeup ♪ ♪ dark sunglasses ♪ ♪ and that next morning,sitting in the back pew ♪

♪ praying withthe baptist ♪ ♪ and up in the loft, that wholechoir singing, singing ♪ ♪ yeah, it's allgonna be alright ♪ ♪ you just listen to the churchbells ringing, ringing ♪ ♪ jenny slipped something inhis tennessee whiskey ♪ ♪ no law man wasever gonna find ♪ ♪ and how he died isstill a mystery ♪ ♪ but he hit a woman forthe very last time ♪ ♪ standing there in a blackdress singing, singing ♪

♪ yeah, it's all gonna bealright ♪ ♪ yeah, they're ringing ♪♪


Affordable Wedding Jewelry For Bridesmaids


did you know there are at least twelve different wedding dress necklines to choose from? from the oh-so-popular strapless and sweetheartnecklines, to the more demure queen anne, we will cover them all and share the idealjewelry to complement each one. first weã­re showing the universally pleasingv-neck style. for a classic approach, choose pearls or adelicate necklace and small stud earrings. for a modern twist, try intricate drop earringsand a necklace. here we have a jewel neckline, which followsthe natural curve of your neck. this look is beneficial for brides who wantto show off their arms or enhance a smaller bust. dangling earrings and a diamond bracelet look amazing here--

whereas a necklace might overcomplicatethe dress. for brides who want to feature their shouldersand arms, this halter gown has straps that wrap around the back of the neck.in this case, a necklace would crowd the neckline. so instead, choose a pair of elegant earringsand a fun bracelet or two. for regal elegance, the queen anne necklineis an accessory in and of itself. since this style does an excellent job ofhighlighting the bust, a delicate bracelet and stud earrings are all you need to accentuateyour look without overpowering it. if youã­d like to wear pearls on your weddingday, this scoop neckline is perfect for you. for earrings, both drop or stud options willfinish your look nicely.

if you choose a gown with a plunging back,go for something unexpected and dramatic. accent your back by draping a long necklace.when viewed from the front, the necklace also provides an elegant and sophisticated look.now on to one of our favorites, the strapless dress. the softly dipped neckline emphasizes a defined collarbone, so let your bone structure takecenter stage here, and choose drop earrings to add interest.another option is finding an interesting bold piece to act as a fabulous focal point.a similar but slightly-higher cut is the off-the-shoulder neckline. this design works best with subtle accents. perhaps simple teardrop earrings and a delicate necklace.for a modern fashion edge, you may choose

an asymmetric or one shoulder neckline.necklaces tend to get lost in this neckline, so in this instance we suggest a simple pairof dangling earrings and a bracelet on the wrist opposite the shoulder strap.the square cut neckline forms a straight line across the chest and perfectly frames the collarbone. so pair it with oversized dangling earringsor highlight this neckline with a timeless diamond necklace.the bateau or boat-cut neckline is another classy option.because this style has a wider top with a short scoop, itã­s perfect for showing offyour collarbone. a slight drop or stud earring is the perfecttouch to complete this look.

our final featured neckline is one of themost popular among brides, the sweetheart neckline. this cut forms a heart as it followsthe shape of the bust. with an updo, this neckline creates the perfectcanvas for an elegant necklace. or, if you are keeping it a bit more casual,opt for stud earrings or an elegant bracelet. from classic to fashion-forward, these necklinesand the appropriate jewelry will help you create a look as beautiful, romantic and unforgettable as your wedding day.


Affordable Wedding Jewelry For Brides


hi everyone!! i am so excited to share this dollar treediy with you, it turned out so well and the entire floral arrangement only costs 6 dollars. if you are new to my channel, please hit thatsubscribe button, i have so many more wedding and event diys coming your way and this wayyou’ll be the first to know. if you like the video, give a thumbs up andfeel free to comment down below with any video requests, i love to hear from you! and please tag me on instagram or use#christinemylinh, i would love to see your creations!! you can find the full list of supplies downbelow, so be sure to check that out!

so let’s get started!


Affordable Wedding Dress Makers Uk


- there's also a small part of me that's like, "what if it just vibrates away into it?" (laughs) just like a rocket, you just take off. (heavy hip hop beat) - they seem cool, i just, i've never had a burning desire and enough money to be like, "gimme one of these." - i also just watched porn for the first time

about a month ago, so none of this should be surprising. - the one thing that i'm thinking a lot about is the fact that i'm very uncomfortable with what we're about to do, not because of the act itself, but because of how other people are going to react to it. - let's do it. - this is about you, this is about your private relationship with yourself. - so, what are the health benefits to masturbation?

- after people do have an orgasm, progesterone rises, oxytocin, which is another hormone, the hormone of love, rises, heart health, immune health, it's pretty deep. sex is actually really important. (fast piano music) - this looks like the carmen sandiego outfit. - you know what this reminds me of? that scene in harry potter where they walk

into the weasley's house and all the pans are moving by themselves. ^- welcome to the pleasure chest. ^we are a wonderland of sex toys and beyond. - is it common for women to explore less with sex toys than it is for men? - we've got these, like... society, "wah, sex is bad for women, you should "remain virgins until marriage," and that is a huge part

of our culture and how women relate to their own bodies and their sexuality, but thankfully, it's 2015. we've got the hitachi magic wand, which has been pleasing housewives since the '70s. it was originally marketed as a back massager. you can use pretty much any internal vibrator externally, but if you've never experienced sex toys before, it's better to go with something a little more mild. - i can't believe that goes inside someone.

- the human body is amazing, it can fit more than you think. - oh, you keep saying that. - [koko] it's because we haven't explored our bodies enough to get to that point. - okay, okay, i'm ready to explore. - kinda don't want to put them down. - yeah, they're just kind of fun to hold. - it's incredibly fun to have these on your hands. - yeah, it's just calming.

- i can imagine putting them somewhere else. - yeah, i can imagine it too. - [michelle] i love the bags. i'm a changed woman. yes. (deep hip hop beat) - gonna give this thing a try. - about to give it a try. - i'm not really sure how this is gonna go.

- i'm nervous, but i have really high expectations. - i've got my laptop all ready with some old faves. - i'm really looking forward to it. - yeah, let's (beep)ing do this. (light guitar music) - how was your experience? - it's (beep)ing dope. i might as well just cut off my left hand 'cause i don't need it anymore.

- the different settings were interesting, you know? you could pick different intensities and vibration patterns, but i think i have respect for au naturale. - i don't really know who i am anymore. vibrators are a great tool because they help people explore their bodies. - vibrators are fun, and they're good, and you should be able to explore your body

however you want without worrying about anybody else. (vibrates) (sings) ♫ dum, dum, dum ♫ (vocalizes) (coughs) - like a new way to clear phlegm out of your throat.


Best Wedding Dress UK 2016


hello everyone, welcome back! it's already hong kong vlog 6, if you're interested watch back the previous vlogs, you can check out the playlist in the info bar. this vlog is combine 3 days together because i didn't film much. breakfast time! if you watched my vlog before, you probably know these chinese cakes were made by my mum. she made them before i come back to hk because i really miss them. also, my mum made some veggies soup, beef balls and the glutinous rice filled with chicken. this restaurant is not bad, the service is good but if you ask me will i come again? probably not, because we both prefer the other one in tsuen wan.

this was first time we eat chicken hot pot alone, before always with my family or friends. so we didn't know that we ordered too much for 2 people. if you continue watch, you may know we spent almost hkd 1500 for this meal. but we didn't order any seafood or beef which are expensive. so when we received the bill, we both were shocked. we didn't calculate the price, didn't know we ordered way too much... i also showed the receipt to my friends, they said this restaurant's food is expensive compare to others. after the expensive hotpot, we just got out the restaurant

and we saw this ice-cream store called the little corner. my husband wanted to order 2 green tea ice-cream, but i didn't let him because we just finished to eat. we both were so full, so we just got one and share it. then, he blamed me didn't let him took 2... my friend and i went to this restaurant called satay king in mong kong for our lunch. actually, it was not lunch, already 2-3p.m. and i discovered the same restaurant which located in different place in mong kok was closed, i felt a bit sad because full of memories there. after lunch, we went to jewellery store to shop for our friend wedding gift.

i did get a little diamonds ring for myself, i always want to buy this type of ring to match my other heart shaped diamond ring. after eat and buy gift in mong kok, we went to this dresses store in sham shui po to pick up our bridesmaid dresses. after pick up the dresses, we went back to tung chung to join the bridal shower party. actually, i don't know how to call bridal shower in cantonese, like bridal celebrate with her friends before the wedding. the other morning day, breakfast again. we ate these waffles, "hk style cake", pineapple bun, seafood balls and rice roll...

probably you may think why i ate these for breakfast, but i really miss these food so much and want to eat them even now... at night, we dated my friends for dinner. this restaurant is called fisher & farmer in tsim sha shui. i think this restaurant is good because the reasonable price and tasty food. i really recommended for you guys if you like spicy. also, it was our first time to eat the fish like this, like hotpot but not hotpot. a big fish, spicy and you can put something inside to cook. i think it's quite special and you can like hotpot add food inside.

i'm out of words, should be call grilled fish?! we also order the chicken pot and a bowl of spicy beef noodle. after dinner, we went to this dessert store called via tokyo to eat desserts. we ate green tea flavor, my husband and i really like green tea flavor stuffs. especially ice-cream, i took a green tea cheesecake and my husband took green tea ice-cream. i prefer ice-cream more but i just wanted to try new thing. so my husband and i ordered differently and share together. after gathering, we bought the cookies and muffins again in mrs. fields again. because after 9:30p.m, this store is buy 3 get 3 free for cookies and buy 2 get 2 free for cupcakes or muffins.

so i think that's it for this video, thank you so much for watching! thumb up if you enjoyed, thank you! see you all in my next video, bye!


List Of Cheap Designer Wedding Dresses Online Uk


hi! amar sent this for you. amar! he has sent it for you. somebody shouldlove me for a moment. even if it's fake. amar! see this useless tv! you don'tunderstand polite language. i don't know what all things...

take your medicine on time. and today pleasedon't eat junk food. lost vagabond traveler. why do you wander around lost? my heart, smile. enjoy life. why is the earth round? why are thereproblems in the world? smile and laugh.forget your sorrow. learn how to be happy.

keep your footfirmly on the ground. life is a deceit. endure it. keep your foot firm on the ground. what is good? what is bad? what is right? what is wrong? if you think about all this,you won't be able to live. vishwanath! did you see iplcricket match last night? yes! what girls! it was great!

girls! did you see dhoni?he was hitting sixes! our players are in all the teams. i don't understand whoseside to take. it's so confusing. this is not confusion.this is called fusion. - fusion? of indian andinternational cricketers! this is the future of cricket. got it? i don't think he understood. sir!

boss has called you. you have still not met boss? good morning, teacher! amar! rohra file... done?- yes. tally? good! take this.complete the credit list. in order of priority.

sir, i have mydoctor's appointment at 5:30. i had to collect some reports. i am suffering from astomach problem, sir. 5:30! two hours beforethe office finishes. if you have to go,then you have to go. thank you, sir. listen! complete the file. take it home.

complete it throughout the night. and take these files. take it. complete credit list ofthree years. take it. you said you have to go, right? and listen! send water for me. yes, doctor. ms. swati, doctorhas called you inside. hi! how are you?

i am good! do you know? i wasjust talking to priya? yes! what happened?- to whom? to you, dear. this is thethird time i am seeing you here. nothing. stomach problem. what did dr. khan say? he said get your gastro copy done. this is what dr. khantold my husband too!

ulcer in the stomach. here. but after doing the test,do you know what the result was? stomach cancer.that too second stage. sorry to hear that. okay, mr. amar, doctoris calling you inside. no, i am just bored. forget all that now... my report... - yes, yourreports have arrived. it's... you said it's ulcer.

yes. i did say ulcer.- yes. mr. kaul, it's... a little, alittle more complicated than that. do i have stomach cancer? mr. kaul, you should havecome to me much earlier. you want to have a glass of water? please. you mean to say ihave stomach cancer? i'm sure there is somemisunderstanding, doctor. maybe the reports got mixed up.it frequently happens.

did you double check? how can i havestomach cancer, doctor? i am only 37 years old. i never smoked. i never drank. i don't eat spicy food too, doctor. my maid at times addsmore pepper in the food. but mama too eats it. shedoesn't have any problem. look, mr. kaul. stomach cancer is frequentlydetected in the late stage.

many times it'sdetected in the 3rd stage. and by then it's very late. unfortunately this is whathas happened in your case too. at that stage there is verylittle medical science can do. are you sure? i am sorry, mr. kaul. how much time do i have left? the world seems forlorn, still. my dream, so innate.

within the shimmer ofthe city lies darkness. sorrow is hiddenbehind every smile. if this is true then let melive each moment to its fullest. and smilingly iwill say to sorrow. goodbye! life, don't meet me as a stranger. worship isincluded in every prayer. why are you woebegone? cheer up!

do you know,you have so much work left? cool. so you didn't do thework i gave you yesterday. no, right? sir, i am not well. look, mr. kaul. this is an office. it's not a kg classroom. that you said sir, i was not well.my stomach was paining. so i didn't do my homework.

god! namdev! sir, namdev has gone to theairport to pick up your wife. i see. come here. he can't do anything.he is messing up everything. go. handle it. do something.- i will do something. come. listen! i had ordered for juice!

find out whetherit has come or not. were our problems less, amar... ...that you have putus into more trouble? what did boss say? this is last year'soutstanding account. the credit list hasto be checked. got it? that too within an hour. his father is in delhi.with a sword in his hand. you have spoilt my mood.

really!somebody makes the mistake... ...and somebody elsehas to pay the price! my day is ruined! come on! tonight i willalleviate your sorrow with rum. toast?- toast. the cure for our sorrow.let's go there. great! give me my rum. sir, the stock got over.

shall i serve youanother brand? it's good. another brand! fool! change your wife,your house, car... ...but never change your brand. got it? a brandshows a person's stature. what will you understand? go and tell themanager that jagtap has come. and he has said to serve hisbrand from the stock at the back. go.

i swear, sir. therewas only one bottle left. i just served it to a customer. shall i give you a punch? my brother's friend is anexcise inspector! got it? i will shut down your bar! sir! you can have mine! i gave it to him. why should i take it from him?he seems to be a simpleton. leave!

come on! i just had a pack.- wow! what are you looking at? i'm looking for an'l' board. learner. already you are drunk. i'm drinking for the first time. before dying i wanted tosee what it tastes like. if you have not drunk thenyou have not lived your life. maybe that's why i am dying.- give me ice.

i would have died ifi had not got my brand. thank you. you seem to be the type of manwho drinks when he is tense. why are you tense? mister, i just told you.i am going to die. why are you harping about dying? i am going to die.they all are going to die. his death is written in my hands. give me one...- pass me the coke.

are you drinking forthe first time? - yes. do you smoke?- i don't smoke. girls? once i watched a bluefilm when i was in college. have you ever gambled?- never! have you ever fought with somebody? in the 5th gradei pushed my friend. he had taken my lunch. it's better you die.

i mean look at me. my liver has shrunkdue to drinking. still i come here everyday. ask him. look at me. i have a wife at home.still i have two girlfriends. one in kandivli.and the other in antop hill. saw my guts? i took a loan of 3.5lakhs from the bank.

i have not repaid a penny. i forged my father's signature... ...and seized aplot worth 30.5 lakhs. you look likemunnabhai film's jimmy shergil. woebegone! not a coward. but a dying man. what do you want? what should i do? i want that you learnto live before you die. like this.

sir, i want a long vacation.because i am going to die. how irresponsible of you, mr. kaul! at the time of year ending,life ending! who will do the work? who will do it? who will do it? i said samosa (fried snack).and not laddoo (sweet). mama! you won't reform even after dying. you are making a list?make it! make it! make your things to-do list.

what have you done in yourboring life besides this? drink more! boring man! this is notthe effect of liquor! it's the effect ofyour boring life! but who are you? don't you recognize your face? i am you. i admit that grammar is not proper. but i can't give you abetter introduction.

you see... i am you. relax! relax! relax!mr. amar kaul! this had to happen someday. the man who liveswith his own self... ...finally talks tohis own self too. i won't live forlong to talk to myself. i heard you are going to die. did you tell mama? she won't be able to hear it.

yes, which mother would beable to hear her son's... she really won't beable to hear it. her hearing aid isnot working properly. even if she heard, shewon't be able to understand. if she understood, shewon't be able to tolerate it. fine! fine! did you tell vivek? what's the use of telling him? he never supported me in life.what will he support me in death?

fine. tell me. what's your plan? will you somedayjust place your head... ...on your own lap and die? no. i will fight. you will fight? i see. with whom? the doctor? no. death. all your life, youcouldn't fight with life.

and you will fight with death! look, you died a long time ago. got it? and this... its justthe printout of your death. what do you mean? i mean... what listwere you making just now? buying bottle gourd. not zucchini. giving the account to boss. buying hearing aid battery formummy. repairing the geyser. sitting on the donkey.blah! blah! blah!

a person will die ofboredom by reading your list. so what should i do? tear my clothes androam around naked? and shout...i am dying! i am dying! sister, i am dying. brother,i am dying! i knew... nobody will understand. but you are... i am 37 years old. i remained an accountsmanager all my life.

i didn't marry. don't you know what allthings i endured in my life? you are not born with adestiny like shah rukh khan. fine. whatever little godhas given you... enjoy it. what are you trying to say?what do you mean? i mean to say, according to me,your biggest ambition in life is... ...repairing geyser urgently. look, i too have many ambitions. there are many things in lifewhich i want to do. - like what?

like... i want to buy a new car.i want to take a foreign trip. and... that's it! now you have understood! make its list. 'things to do... ...before i die.' new car. wow!

foreign trip. that's better! and love... iove... airbag, sir. front and back. cup holder. cigarette lighter. integrated rests on rear seats. and yes, powersteering and power window. for your safety. my safety?- yes.

sir, if you want, i willtake you on a test drive. no! what's the price of this car? sir, you can take the car bygiving a down payment of one lakh. and the rest in installments. emls. how many emls? sir, for 48 monthsmeaning four years, 18,907. four years is too long.any shorter term? yes, sir. two yearswhich is approximately...

yes! 35,215.- shorter than that? one year. don't you have anyplan for three months? sir, we don't have anyscheme for three months. you see, i want to repayit all within three months. okay. i will just check. it will be around3,15,000 for one month, sir. and it's not a veryadvisable thing to do. 3,15,000!

i think i will have touse my provident fund. i will meet you later.- okay, sir. thank you very much.- thank you so much, sir. pleasure, sir. thank you. thank you, man!- fantastic, savio sir! excellent! i want to learn kal hona ho's title track. kal ho na ho! every moment... that one!- oh! that hindi film!

very nice! sir, will i learn this?it's my big wish. no worries, man.i will make you a rock star. in seven months. savio will make you arock star in seven months. sorry, savio sir. but can'tyou do it in three months? fool! what do you think? i am sitting here and runninga crash course or something? you thought you will come,put the guitar in your pelvis... ...and become elvis!

playing the guitar is an art. no matter how muchtime you take, it's less. sorry, savio sir. there are ways to go there.why don't you understand? since the time ihave become sensible... ...i have been going to dance bars. i've got work! i've got work, mr. amar! please! concentrate!give your time!

otherwise, i will be in trouble. please! concentrate on your life! listen!- yes, sir! did you get the files? yes, sir. namdev just kept it here. fine. it should befinished by tomorrow. tomorrow? but sir... hello. you too! he says andyou listen to him. he orders you aroundand you do his bidding.

he exploits you and you get scared. people suppress theweak ones. got it? like button, bell etc. this is amar kaul's problem. people bully him andhe allows them to. what? nothing. hang on! what?- nothing.

you fool! you are a coward!do something! got it? otherwise... i gave the car loan fileto boss. what's its status? you ask him. okay. i will ask him. sir... car loan...- it can't be done. why, sir?- what do you mean? have you seen thestate of our city?

there is so much traffic. it takes me one andhalf hour at least... ...to come here from shivaji park. and so much pollution! i don't want to addto the city problems. mr. kaul, before asking for a loan,think how much money... ...the company hasearned because of you. first earn and then ask for a loan. be an asset to thecompany and not a liability.

nothing. then go out.and throw this in the dustbin. make the report and bring it. i have to send the report tothe headquarters by evening. sir, would youplease take a look at it? i want you to give it a look. let's have a look. take it outside. sir, here. good morning, sir!

good morning!- good morning, sir! sir, i sit here. where is it, mr. kaul?where is it? here is acme chemical file. and...- yes. this... what! you deleted this! no. now i have deleted it.

permanently. mr. amar kaul! i amgoing to cut you into pieces! mr. dasgupta.- yes. nothing! nothing! god, i don't wantanything from you. i just want my husband! what do you mean left it?do you get jobs easily? don't do anything good! now what will you do?

i will buy a car, mama. poor saloni! i just want my husband's love! amazing, sir. you organisedyour finance so quickly. being an accountmanager has some benefits. congratulations on your new car!- thank you! just sign this insurancecover note. then we are done. here.- excuse me! does it take you twoweeks to repair a car's ac?

i have been calling at yourservice centre since long! no response! is this howyou treat your customers... hi.- hi. i want to see my carright now! come! sorry about that, sir. at times there is overload of work.- its okay. do you know him? yes. congratulations, sir!- thank you!

key of your new car!- thank you! congrats! this is my favourite colour! red! excellent choice, sir! here! now shall we go for a test drive? sir, now what test drive?now the car is yours. but i didn't drive it. no problem. come.let's go for a drive. sir, actually my shift is over.and i have to go somewhere.

that's even better.i will drop you there. no, no, sir!- in the new car! no, sir! it's out ofthe way! let it be! it's okay. i insist.if you don't mind. okay, sir. because you insist. i will just come, sir. one minute. thank you! sir, the car which you havebought... very good choice. sir, this car's rackand steering wheel...

...are perfect forclose manoeuvring. i can see. hey! shameless! blind auto driver! i have just bought a car.gradually i will learn abuses too. sir, all this is common. sir, do you know, you havea cd changer in this car? yes?- yes. there is a four way speaker. hang on, sir. i will show you. if i say that...

just a second. hello. yes. yes. okay. okay. i will see you. alright. bye. sir, drop me ahead to the left. my boyfriend is waiting for me. sir, not here. ahead. near ccd. that's it! he is right there. thank you for the ride, sir.- you are welcome.

you stay here? no. actually we have come hereto see a house on rent. anyway, sir. congratulationsonce again! remember that your car's firstservicing is after three months. okay. thank you so much,sir. see you. come on! let's go! hi!- hi! who's he? that's a friend who dropped me.- right.

okay. ready?- yes. alright. i should have bought a bike. you fool... forget a bike.even if you had got a boeing 747... ...still you would nothave enticed her. did you forget neha? neha. amar kaul's first love. and amar kaul's second love too.

and amar kaul's third love too. you fool, do something soon.you don't have much time. o my god! mama, what are you doing? how come my heart is so big? mama, this is not your heart.this is my stomach's x-ray. your stomach? what happened to you? nothing. a small problem, mama. problem is not in thestomach. its here.

you and your superstitions. i should get my x-ray done! the maid which you have kept... ...we don't come to know whenshe comes, adds chillies... ...in the vegetables andwhen she goes away. it means today again somebodydidn't eat food. mama, let's do one thing. today we will have dinner outsideand we'll go in our new car. our car?

yes, mama. our new car. my son! well done! let's go.- come on! god! you are great! you have done a great deed,son! very good, my son! you have bought a fabulous car! your papa used to... isn't it good, mama?- yes. let's go and have dinner.

let's have some delicious meal! put the seat belt, mother.- belt. belt! belt!- mama! mama, it's a belt! it will get stuck. mama, don't worry. okay! okay!- yes! mama, if you wear the seatbelt then even if... ...there is an accident,still nothing happens.

i see!- okay! i will die when i have to die. very good, my son! very good! brown girl in the ring. are you calling a waiter! fast, man! you shouldn't be scared of theguitar. you should strum it. so much time you are taking.i have to go now.

i have to reach at 6 o'clock. but sir, now its only 3 o'clock. i don't own a car like you, man. i have to change two buses andone local train to reach there. vasai is far away from here. let's go. will you dropme to the bus stop? savio sir, forget the bus stop.i will drop you to vasai. i just needed a smallfavour from you. you said that your niece worksin a telephone company.

i wanted somebody's numberand address, savio sir. you can't do anything! you can't! amar kaul! neha! i couldn't recognise you! really?- yes. liar! amar, i am so excited tosee you! look at you! how much weight you have lost!how did you do this?

i still can't believe it!what were you doing here? me?- yes. i came to meet somebody. anyway. it's a great surprise. do you remember shraddha society? of course! and you rememberthat watchman gangaram! every night he usedto drink and sing... do you remember? we had put his bottlein the water tank.

you hid it there. yes! whatever! and what was that secretary'sname, he was so grumpy. uncle tandon! yes! he was saying... kids! today the watertastes different! o god! whose call is this?- you have not changed at all! you too! hello!

yes. i am coming to meet you. i am just reaching, mother. okay. bye. how is your mother?- fine! she will be so excitedto see you, amar. here? yes. just up! up! left! come on! let's go inside! what are you hiding?

you like this flowera lot, don't you? you used to put it in your hair. so silly i was, wasn't i?! mummy!- my child! how are you? had your meals? what did you eat? maggi.- you had maggi! you had maggi! say hello to uncle.- hello. uncle, what is your name? amar.

and what is your name?- trishana. trishna. not trishna. trishana here. is she harassing you?- no! not at all! when did you get married?- in 2000. you know, varun, my husband... ...he is an investmentbanker with icici. banker weds banker.

capital gain. mother, look who has come! aren't you the one who fell inour colony's gutter on holi? it was the first time that a firebrigade came to our colony. with a long rope three men enteredthe gutter to pull him out. mother, you too. here, dear.- no. eat it quickly. amar, you have not eatenanything. eat it.

my appetite is full. so amar, what do you do? i was an account manager ina pharmaceutical company. i left my job a few days ago. between jobs. are youplanning to go abroad? this is what i am planning. amar won't say anything. he was our colony's secretive guy. he used to do everything secretly.

you know, every evening,we used to meet... ...in the compoundof our building... ...and we used to play dumbsheras(game). that guessing game. yes. i know. we playedin delhi too. not like amar and me. i was the master. and amar wasthe partner. right, amar? he would give the clue.i would guess. i would guess. he wouldgive the clue. we were just too good, varun!just too good!

yeah! undefeated chumsof shraddha society. correct! correct! youdon't believe me! give him any name. give him any movie's name.and see how he does it. neha, you too. amar, just relax. we will showthese people from delhi. okay, ms. mumbai! come on! four! hindi!

second word! bye! bye-bye! hindi! hindi! hindi! alvida (goodbye)!kabhi alvida na kehna! excellent!- saw that? amar says everything withoutsaying anything. here. have kulfi (lce-cream). i remember. you likeit a lot, don't you? aunt, you too...- eat it.

come! come! come! she is tired! amar, this is for you. isn't this when we allhad gone to aksa beach? when was this? you know we had gone for building'spicnic. remember? adi had bought a new camera. and we clicked this photograph. it's so sweet, isn't it?

so nice! this...- it's for you. i have another copy. thank you, neha.- you are welcome, amar. i am pleased to meet you all.thank you for the dinner. do keep in touch.- of course. now don't vanish again.- i won't. promise. bye.- bye. so mr. lover kaul!did you tell her?

yes! you are bluffing! againyou couldn't tell her! you are a coward! you can't do anything! coward! coward! coward! coward! i want to say something to you. my daughter... is really sweet. my husband... is very nice. this rain... is really nice.

this house... is great. amar! three words! english! third word! me! me! you! you! you! first word. i. jhulka. gun master g9!- who is this?

it's the season to sing. sing and play. to bring a smile on a sad face. to make smiling faces cry. this life, this world.its all ours. of crazy people. old friend. gun master!- g9! i love you!- you are mine!

gun master g10! where thehell have you been, man? i am in mumbai. howare you? foreigner! it's been such a long time!how have you been? i am fine. did you get married? yes, i got married. and you? we must meet, amar. hello! hello! amar! hello, amar!

rajiv!- yes. you want to meet, right?- of course, man! fine. i am coming. you are coming here?- of course! wow! when?- very soon! i want to meet you. hello! hello, amar! it got disconnected. who was that? amar kaul. my school friend.he was my best friend.

i told you about him, didn't i?he is coming here. i cannot tolerate cold easily. excuse me, ma'am. keep it down. do it in this. excuse him. he is travellingin a plane for the first time. but, he has hit two birdswith one stone. a foreign trip... and rajiv jhulka. amar and rajiv,best friends since childhood.

best buddies and pals. rajiv, you keep the bigger one. thank you. - welcome. thank you, amar. you keep the bigger... - youkeep it, you keep the bigger one. they shared everything in life. everything! except... for their fate.

excuse me, sir. my friend likes them a lot. yes, the flight has landed. he should be coming out now. g9! i have come for you! how are you? i am fine, how are you? rajiv jhulka, chutney and bread.

amar kaul, where is my rice? why have you become so thin? but you look so fit. i am a doctor,i have to maintain myself. why are you wearing a sweater?is it going to snow here? you know mummy, you are going toa foreign country... ...wear the sweaterand the suit too. look, what i brought for you. tamarind sweets.

you like them a lot, don't you? you like it. and how is sister-in-law?- she is fine. wow. - welcome. such a big swimming pool!- it is a lake. we can go swimming in the evening.do you want to come along? you forgot, i stilldon't know swimming. and this... the water is spilling fromthe pot... seems completely indian.

fishes. - there is a tortoise too. it is such a splendorous house. is it yours? - yes. seems like people oftenfall ill here. take a seat. so, you have arrived. that's my wife, aditi.- sister-in-law! no, no. aditi, that's amar.

nice to meet you. take a seat. - you sit too. amar kaul. rajiv and i werein the same school. and, in the same society too. shraddha society, vile parle.remember. vile parle, east. and now, rajiv has come so far. how did you do all this?how do you feel?

i didn't do anything,it all happened. to tell you the truth,amar, everything is fine... ...but there is no fun livingin an unknown city. we miss india a lot. we yearn so much to speak hindi. don't worry, now i have come here. i will talk only in hindi.- promise. don't you come to india? i do, sometimes.but i don't get time from my work.

oh yes... you...- i'll be there in half an hour. you are a doctor too.both of you are so busy. such a big house. you don't get time. amar... - what happened? i will have to leave,there is an emergency operation. oh yes, it is your duty. please, of course.- you will be okay? of course.

i have set up your room upstairs. i will show him around. - okay! bye, see you. we will meet in the evening.- of course. we will drink. bye! - see you. this is my first foreign trip. really. i never travelledout of india before.

is it for business or any work? no, i just came to meet g9! rajiv! - oh yes. i call him g9! gunmaster g9! gunmaster g10! both of us werevery active members... ...of the mithun chakrabortyfan club. we would never miss any ofmithun's movies.

first day first show. rajiv and i! he is my best friend. and, you should meet yourbest friend sometimes. that's why, i came here. and... this is my passportand some money. if you can keep them safely...- of course. amar, i am so sorry. i didn't even ask you anything.

would you like to have something? tea, juice. no, no, no sister-in-law,don't worry. i have eaten in the plane. they feed you so much,that now i have developed gas. but, just get me a glass of water. of course, i will be right back. amar, i have kept water for you. thank you sister-in-law!

salvatore. are you sure?but salvatore is... cancer medicine. your friend is sufferingfrom cancer. oh god. but, why didn't he tell me? don't you see, rajiv? see what? you haven't met him for 12 years.

and now, suddenlyhe wants to meet you. so, what are you saying? don't you remember,my uncle had arrived? i am missing my nephew!i am missing my nephew! and ultimately, what did he say. free treatment for kidney failure. free doctors. stop it, please! amar is my friend,he is not like that.

and if there is any problem,if he doesn't have money... ...we can afford it, can't we? calm down!why are you getting angry? i was just... did he eat? i will call him but pleasedon't say this in front of him. amar... - i am not hungry,you have your food. the world seems lonely, still! darkness withinthe shimmer of the city.

sorrow is hidden behindevery smile. and smilinglyi will say to sorrow. no, no you go! i don't want! not interested! you go! see, i don't want! i told you! i am not interested. i don't want! please go. i am so sorry!

see... i didn't mean it. this is life! it was about to end in four months. then why all this? things we did and things to do. new car. foreign trip.guitar. rajiv jhulka. it's a joke. everything is a joke.

why am i doing it? why? i know... i know what to do? sorry, mama. you don't know whathas happened with me. everything is going wrong. o god, what is this? she doesn't even let medie in peace.

i told you to leave me alone. good sandwich. where am... i from? i am from india. mumbai! do you know mumbai? bollywood. yes, bollywood! somebody should love mefor a moment.

someone expresses his lovefor just two days. hello, rajiv,this is amar speaking. where are you, amar? that day you left just likethat without saying anything. sorry... i was... but,i am absolutely fine. and i am having a lot of fun.don't worry about me. but, do you knowhow worried we are. we have been lookingfor you for three days now. where are you? just come back.

there is no time leftfor me to come back. my flight leaves in the evening.- what do you mean you are leaving? i saw you after 12 years,how can you just leave like that? you are needlesslygetting emotional. there is nothing like that, rajiv. just come back home, okay.please. look, i wanted to meetyou and i did. i wanted to see a foreigncountry and i did. this is my life's mostmemorable trip.

and, i am very happy. and i want to go back happily. i have given sister-in-law my passportand money to keep it safely. will you please bring itto the airport? give my regards to sister-in-law! there is no time, otherwisei would i would have personally... okay, i will be there. god! - what happened? is he alright?

he is leaving. somebody should loveme for a moment. where is my shirt? for me! even i play the guitar. i like it, thank you. i go back, to mumbai. i go back. no, i never come back.

what is this? it is a strange place.- your passport, ticket. oh yes, passport, wallet. rajiv, there's some money missing,did sister-in-law... do you want some money? i was just joking. you traveled so far to meetand in this condition. and i'm really feeling sorry. fine, on that note, treatme to a coffee.

you keep the bigger one. it's an old habit. do one thing. cancel your ticket,and come with me. there are manycancer specialists... ...i will get your treatment done. trust me.- rajiv, what are you saying? you are a doctor too.and where are you from? you are from india.

the best doctors in theworld come from india. india is great. don't worry. don't worry! did sister-in-law like thebag i brought for her? fax me all the reports thatthe doctors give you. i will consult my friends. fine.promise. fine, now i will leave.

the flight has been announced. i might miss the flight. bye, amar. bye buddy. okay, see you gunmaster g9! see you g10! you said it. bye. keep fighting.

hey, lover boy. tell me something,do you remember neeraj paudwal? 3rd a! the one who didthe horlicks ad. my photo is in the papers! look, my photo is in the papers. has your photo ever beenprinted in the newspaper? see, you still remember. he never let me forget. because of him, i wouldthink everyday...

...when my photo will be publishedin the newspaper. but, there is a point in this. when your photo is publishedin the newspapers... ...your saga can continueeven after you are dead. isn't it? photo... on... the front... page. when all of this has happened... ...then, maybe this dreamwill come true too. may be.

have fun. goodbye, lover boy. why are you looking at, savio sir? it is an imported one,i have brought it for you... ...absolutely duty free.- thank you. but i prefer whiskey. i always say, when thespirit is so white... ...something is not right. but, what i can do is...i will give it to mario.

he will like it very much.if you don't mind, that is. who is mario? my younger brother. the one who lives in vasai.keep quiet. why are you getting tense?i am going to meet him today. doesn't your brotherever visit you? in '87 he fell offthe local train... ...and lost both his legs. poor man.

but, now he is fine and cranky. and after two glasses of vodka...he'll be flying man. do you have only one brother?- yes. only one. savio! and mario! brothers in arms. action. why are you staring at that aunt? take a look at me.

i have a car, bungalow,bank balance. i have laptops, computers. mobile phones, 10 mega pixels. and then, i have yourpunch line too. i have a mother too. actually, because of theparade every morning... ...outside the police quarters... ...mother cannot sleep. and that's why, these daysshe sleeps in my house.

because i have an ac! i speak english. cut! cut! cut! what happened? great sir.- arun. - yes sir. sir, it is getting a bit loud. loud! hello. you have to be a bit loud,it is a t. v serial. t. v serials have to be loud.

even the ac is not working here. but still please attend to it. if you do it a bit subtly,it will be really nice. hello. who is this? you have called on this number?- who is this speaking? i... can i talk to vivek kaul. sir is in a very importantdiscussion. call him later. look, tell him thatit is very important.

i told you, he is in a veryimportant discussion. do one thing, leave a message. no, i want to talk to himpersonally, no message... if it's so important,then send your resume... ...and your photographs,everything in the office. do you have the address? what nonsense? he has become sucha big director... ...that he can't even talk tohis brother for two minutes?

selfish person. go to hell all of you. has the connection got cut off?what has happened to our t. v? this is too much now. this amar... he doesn'teven charge the battery. and all the... i... i... have mother. i know that she is constablekallu's mother. chintu's mother. pappu's mother.

but mother is after all a mother.you are strange. suresh sir, just a second. sorry. give sir the script.- yes. yes, tell me.mama is fine, isn't she? okay! it's very hot. and there is a lot of traffic too. how is your shooting going?- fine. mama watches your serials a lot.

where is mama? she has gone to the temple. vivek, why don't youkeep mama with you? keep her with me! why? is mama feeling toaffectionate towards me? she is your mama too. and she feels like stayingwith you too. look, mother is growing old... ...and we have someresponsibilities.

just a minute, brother.it is your responsibility too. which responsibilitydid you fulfill? who broke the relations?me or you? just forget what happened? vivek, it happens.it happens in a family. it happens in every home. brother, your family doesn'tthrow you out of the house... ...for one mistake. and what was the mistake?i didn't do anything wrong.

i married the girl i loved. and dorice and i are very happy. i agree, whatever happenedwas very wrong. and i am happy to know that youare very happy with dorice. but, what about mama? listen to me. i want mama to stay withyou for a few days. brother, but i don't want it. why don't you?

why don't you want it? isn't it your responsibility? aren't you her son? that's strange. what has mama done for me? and you tell me.you are my elder brother... ...why didn't you takea stand for me? why didn't you support me? mama didn't like dorice.

so, why didn't you sayanything on my behalf? mama and you threw meout of the house. that's it. what else could i do?throw mama out. she is stubborn andyou are stubborn too. and i have to suffer. like i have to sufferthe consequences. don't i want toachieve great feats? the big director.

brother, is this whyyou called me here? i have left my work to come here! and you will always be a loser. till today you could neverdo anything for yourself... ...and you can never doanything either. you want money, don't you? tell me if you wantsome money for mama. i will send a nurse,i will send some money! just tell me.

you just wasted my timeby calling me here. listen. i don't want your money. i don't want your favour either. i am telling you this, because... ...after me, mama willbecome very lonely. i won't live much longerto be with mama. and she can't livealone in this flat. do you understand what i am saying?

if you don't, then think aboutit and try to understand it. i won't live much longerto take care of mama. but no one in our family history... did you take a second opinion? it has happened, vivek. but are you sure, only two months? let it be, two months. 21/2 months. what difference does it make? the point is idon't have much time.

and, irrespective of whateverhappens to me... ...what will we do with mama? you know, only you can handleher insanity other than me. mama is... does she still strugglewith the t. v remote? everyday. she can neverrecognise any button... ...except for that of the shirt. whether it is the remote button,the phone button...

...or the lift button. you remember, when she took us... ...to papa's officefor the first time. maalamaal towers, 19th floor.- yes! and, as soon as sheentered the lift... ...she pressed four buttonsconsecutively. the lift stopped working. and after that, she pressedthe fire alarm too. that was the most embarrassingday of papa's career.

and the fire brigade arrivedin 10 minutes... ...and you were cryingaway like a girl. but, i was justseven years old brother. but i remember, you heldmy hand and said... ...don't worry, i am there. i will not let anythinghappen to you. how old were you? is your mathematics weak? i was 11 years old.- 11!

no, i won't let you die. i won't let you die, brother. you won't die brother. mama, what is he doing? lie down quietly. who says you have stomach cancer. that fake doctor andyou know nothing. baba, please carry on. he is a very learned sage.

nirmala, your aunt.he has cured her. mama, aunt nirmala had gastritisand not stomach cancer. and, what do you have? keep quiet. she was so scaredbefore coming here. and now, she plays tennis. mama... stop it now, mama. all this is of no use.

nothing is wrong withyou, understood. we have already faced... ...the biggest bad luck ofour life 20 years ago. when your father passed away. bad fate doesn't follow all along. understood that. and that too, because somefake doctor has said it. listen to what your mama is saying. nothing has happened to you?

come on, change your clothes. come with me. where? there is a witch doctor in vashi. who conducts by-pass surgerywith his fingers. fingers... i told you, nothingis wrong with you. look, take a look at him. can anyone say that anythingis wrong with him.

mama, i...- amar! get up, son. listen. we will use the lift. there is no time to waste. look at your hand. is it raksha bandhan (festival)? yes sir. i have made bonds withmany witch doctors. look, this red one...swami vibhuti prasad.

this, the nagadewalebaba (sage), aatish. this is the witch doctortrimbakeshwar maharaj (sage)... no, he had given this ring. ganteshwar maharaj. i don't know, sir. one life, so many baba's! but, since when did youbecome so superstitious? not me, sir, my mother. and she is not this superstitious......she just recently became one.

any problem in life? yes sir, life is my problem. that's why, i came to learnguitar from you at this age. in muqaddar ka sikander,he went with a smile. i want to go playing. mother! my mother! dear mother... mama. fate will change.

the bonds of sorrow will break. even gods yearn for you. you are full of blessings. my mother! my mother! we will be fortunate again. life will be filledwith joys again. with you, i am not afraid. very nice. how did you like it, mama?- what?

my song, my first performance. i didn't hear it. this useless, vivek.he forgot to bring the battery. vivek.- brother, why are you telling me? i asked you to get the battery. i will have to do everything. mama, give that to me. put on. i am the most innocent.

i am your dear son. life is very complicated, mother. you are amar's entire world. your scolding seems so nice. whenever you catch my ears,it hurts, my mother. my mother! mama, where are you going? that... he has come,i am going there. who, the one at vashi or at virar?

he is a godly man. go up, he is all alone. brother! i am here. where did mama go? she has gone to meetan electrician. do you know what thiselectrician does? he mixes many herbs... what isthe frogs younger one called? tadpole.- tadpole.

he thrusts it inside the tadpole'smouth... all the herbs. and after that, he thrusts thetadpole in the patients' mouth. and after that, the tadpole... ...does a world tourof your entire body... ...destroys all your ailments. even cancer. can you believe this? come on, come inside and lie down. i am fine, gopi.

i like it here. you know, in the beginningwhen i bought this flat... ...it was because of this view. and i thought that, everyday afterarriving from the office... ...i will sit here comfortablyand have coffee. and how many times did i do that? not even once. i would come here onlyto dry my towel. and i would see only thestain on the towel...

...and nothing else. and now. and now, i sit hereas long as i can. for hours. see that fountain. it opens up every eveningat 5 o'clock. and at the same time... ...children come there to playfootball on the ground. and that basketball court.

only on weekends theyplay basketball there. other times, theyuse it for skating. and also fight sometimes. same like you. life is so beautiful,isn't it gopi? rajiv, this is for you. amar left it for you. for me. you remember, he wouldalways complain...

...that no one evergifts him anything. but he made sure that heleft gifts for everyone. everyone. wow. for his music teacher savio he hasleft an honorarium, his car. he gave him his car. and the girl, garima whosold him the car... ...he has given himhis house on rent. you were giving something to neha. his childhood memories!photo album.

and for his boss das gupta,he has left behind his guitar. by the way, this is not for me. this is for a lady called... i am just the courier boy. he must have made a list.what to gift someone. he had made a list. his last list. things to do. new car. foreign trip. neha.

guitar. boss's boss. mama. rajiv jhulka. love.photo on front page. not bad, 9 out of 10! 10 out of 10! just a minute. look... he had alreadyarranged for this. do you have pen?- yes. on 3rd page, isn't it? can i keep this list?- yes.

what are the 10 thingsi want to do before i die? firstly, your family...leave them happy. leave them comfortsand securities... ...so that they don't haveto face problems after you. firstly, i wish that...i want this to happen. that, there should be peacein the entire world. there are no more bombs,people live life peacefully. whatever i would do, wouldbe very close to... ...what amar kaul does, becausei figured out that...

...if i was going to end my life. now even i wouldwant to actually... ..more than anythingto set things right. before i die, i want... ...go to a place wherei never went before. i want to do something beautifulfor my parents. i want to do somethingfor my mummy and papa. get together with all my friends. who i have been in touch withever since i was a child.

one week get together,before i die. i want to live life. i want to have kids. two kids, and... preferably twins. adopt a girl along with it! make people laugh. make my mother very happy. i am trying to bea very good father. i would like to be... friendswith my son and my daughter.

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[music playing] [chattering] director (offscreen):[inaudible] [starting pitches givenby keyboard] [music - "si hei lwli mabi"] interviewer (offscreen): howold were you when started taking drugs? amy protheroe (offscreen): wheni first started taking dope and valium and thingslike that, i was 12.

cornelius collins (offscreen):i was 11 when i started smoking dope, then valiumand eggs and speed. amy protheroe (offscreen):when i started taking heroin i was 14. my mother startedgiving it to me. cornelius collins (offscreen): iwas 15 when i started taking heroin and crack. i was dealing by the timei was 16 with my father. amy protheroe (offscreen): iwas homeless when i was 12.

and when i was 14, i went backto live with my mother, and within three months of goingback to my mother, i was taking heroin. she sent me to work in aparlour-- do you know a massage parlour-- when i was 14, wasn't it? cornelius collins (offscreen):it was not a parlour. it was a fucking whore house,not a massage parlour. amy protheroe (offscreen):yeah.

when i was 14, she sent meto work in one of them. cornelius collins (offscreen):that's the posh word for them, isn't it? amy protheroe (offscreen): andall the money that i was earning, i was giving toher and her boyfriend. cornelius collins (offscreen):that's because people like us grow up with parents who areselling drugs and doing drugs, you learn where you live. amy protheroe (offscreen):you end up copying.

cornelius collins (offscreen):right. you end up kind of doing whatyour parents did, because you think that's what's the norm. that's what normalityis to you. amy protheroe: oh, oh. amy protheroe loves corneliuscollins forever, 2008. cornelius collins: it's just alittle reminder to the world that she loves me. amy protheroe: he's my baby.

i loves him. we've been together nearlyfour years, haven't we? cornelius collins: yeah. well, three years, 9 months. amy protheroe: i lied about myage when i got with him. i told him i was 16. i was only 15. i wrote that. cornelius collins: she didit when i was in jail.

interviewer (offscreen): 2008,october last year. amy protheroe: i wason suicide watch. 24/7, they made sure someonewas with me all the time, because i was depressed. i used to sleep with his red gapjumper and cuddle into it. i never washed it. i'd smell him, yeah? cornelius collins: don't-- hey.

amy protheroe: but we've hadsome hard times, haven't we? we've had a lot of trouble. we recently lost a baby. didn't we, corneil? we recently lost our baby. cornelius collins: sort meout with a glug of that. amy protheroe: didn't we? cornelius collins: let's talkabout better things, amy. amy protheroe: no, wait.

but i'm explaining, that's howwe went downhill so rapidly. cornelius collins: well,whatever, innit. amy protheroe: i was eight anda half months pregnant. my baby was born stillborn. i had a little boy. and after that happened, we juststarted drinking really heavily, didn't we, babes? because we neverused to drink. you hated drinking,didn't you?

cornelius collins: yep. i did. amy protheroe: we started offdrinking a little bit, and then when the baby died, thatwas it, our heads went. cornelius collins: give us aglug on that, babes, please. amy protheroe: i don'twant to, shove off. cornelius collins: no, man. oh, this one's fucking dirty. [inaudible].

andrew williamson: lighter? the lighter? where's that filter? you're a dozy fucker. lighter. it's like talking tothe fucking wall with you lot, man. cornelius collins: haven'tgot a lighter. andrew williamson: amy, haveyou got a lighter?

[whistles] andrew williamson: yeah, that'snice as fuck, that is. lovely gear, that is. andrew williamson (offscreen):i wish i'd said this when i was sober. i'm having to maintain myself ona seriously addictive drug. just make sure youwait for me. i'll come into townwith you, innit? cornelius collins: we'llmeet you round the

back of the ym, yeah? derek james: i heard adefinition many years ago about the difference a northwalian and a south walian. and the difference was betweenbelt and braces. the south walian always worea belt slung under his beer belly, and was a roistering,boisterous taffy. whereas a north walian alwayswore braces and hunched them forward as if he were foreverplodding uphill. most of the coal that was minedin the swansea area and

up the swansea valleywas used in swansea for the metal refining. swansea was then, at one time,the major metal refining center for the entire world. that's an example from the olddays, when children were underground. and it was only about 1840- oddthat they raised the age of children workingunderground to 12. but no, mrs. thatchershut the lot down.

it's awful when you think thatthe amount of skill and the amount of knowledge that washere, the knowledge base that they had, and it alljust withered away. employment after the heavyindustry went as not good. there was a short period in the'60s when there was quite a lot of work around. but that declined all throughthe '70s and the '80s, until the late '90s. yeah, that's played a part inthe present drug problem, i

think, in swansea, andthe alcoholism. of course, the system underwhich we live-- the capitalist system--is so competitive. and it's a continual stresson the individual. and younger people, i feel, whocan't get into the stream and compete and can't getwork just lose heart. and then they descend into adrug culture, which is almost a subculture now. danielle gray: (singing)swansea, oh

swansea, swansea city. living on the lamppostuntil the day i die. (speaking) something likethat, isn't it? josie: my name's josie. danielle gray: my nameis danielle gray and i'm from swansea. we're stepsisters. josie: we're stepsisters. danielle gray: that we are.

interviewer (offscreen):stepsisters. danielle gray: there's 12of us all together. interviewer (offscreen):right. danielle gray: there's me,rachel, ciaran, becca, teagan, gemma, emma, then it's ryan,reagan, brandon, and timmy and teagan. and my daughter's namedcourtney-lee-- 28th of the fifth-- it's a bit fadedat the moment.

josie: "dad", i put there. danielle gray: they're prisontattoos, they are. josie: i got "mum" there. danielle gray: you'vegot her ex-missus named leanne up there. that's fucked it off. josie: fucked off. my ex-girlfriend's name there. i've got my ex-boyfriend'sname--

danielle gray: on thatside, isn't it? yeah, mark. i got a daughter. she's three years old now. and if you look there, i got acesarean, from there to there. i sees her every tuesday between10:00 and 12:00. she's brilliant. she goes, mummy, dani,where's my daddy? i goes, working away.

but he was in prison. he came out the other day. no, she doesn't want tosee him and that. two days ago, my mother was abit drunk, and she hit me. i hit her back. and she bit my nose fromthere to there. interviewer (offscreen): whathappened to your face there? josie: oh, i was jumpedby two girls, i was. in swansea?

danielle gray: yeah. it's gone down. rough area. josie: rough, yeah. danielle gray: realrough area. interviewer (offscreen): why? josie: because of the drugs. danielle gray: but now you'vegot kids at ages 12 and 13-- josie: taking heroin.

danielle gray: they'retaking heroin. josie: there's dealersselling it to them-- danielle gray: exactly. josie: and they don't reallycare about them, as long as they get their money. danielle gray: they won't careif a 12-year-old or an 11 goes, oh, have you gota bag and that? oh, yeah, have yougot a tenner? yeah, here's a bag and that.

do you know what i mean? josie: they just don't care. danielle gray: no. they should have more respect. cornelius collins: right, you'vegot sands, which is for over-18s, and sandpit, down innash house, for under-18s. this is a drug agency. they offer counseling. they can help you get onopiate prescribing--

methadone, subutex, suboxoneneedle exchange. they do a men's day on awednesday, when you go in and have some toast and tea, andjust have a chat with all the boys in there. john frith: thanks, lynn. is everybody here? this is another counselingroom, which we'd call a family room. first point of call wouldnormally be the needle

exchange, where we'dfirst engage with-- interviewer (offscreen):why's that? john frith: a lot of them wouldactually come here and be asking for clean needles. and so we've got thecookers, then. this is the most populartype of needle. so this is a 1 mil syringe. you hear about people drawingup water from puddles. we have got water ampules aswell, which you can put in the

cooker and mix withthe heroin. people will still use whetherwe were here or not. where there's a way,they'll find a way. you can actually inject intoyour anus, where there's lots of blood vessels closeto the surface. people are beginning toinject crack now. most people are stillactually smoking it. andrew williamson: this is howcomplicated it is to get drugs, but this isto get crack.

basically, i've gotto get there. i'll ring him on the way--say i'm in a taxi. i meet him by a certain shop. hello? yeah? righto. no, i will. i will comply. at 11:30.

and what's the time now? right. ok. ok, i'll be there at 11:30. my drug worker, that was. i got a phone call about mymedication, because i'm banned from the building, dueto an incident. i've got to meet the ladyoutside there at half past 11. and she'll go throughthings with me.

and it's involving my methadoneprescription, it is. i'm on my way up in a taxinow, mate, yeah? i've got to be back by theymca at ha;f past 11. so, step on it, driver, asthey say in the films. yeah, i take crackrecreationally. it's not something i makea habit of doing. it's not physically addictive,so it's-- interviewer (offscreen):you don't think so? andrew williamson: well,textbook, it's

not physically addictive. i have come off it before. and i have vomited blood. i drank 60 mil of methadone. and then an hour later, iinjected 2 mil of subutex. and i tell you what, it was oneof the worst cold turkeys i've ever been throughin my entire life. any users who watch thisprogram, never ever do that. i don't want to be vulgar,yeah, but you could have

fitted a watermelon up myasshole, that's how disg-- it came out of me like piss. and i laid on my bed with myeyes like 50 pence pieces-- the old 50 pence pieces. i'm there now, yeah. interviewer (offscreen):you all right? andrew williamson: yeah,safe, sorted. interviewer (offscreen): good. andrew williamson:that's the crack.

kim, it's andrew, it is. right, love, i'm going to beabout 10 minutes later, is that all right? yeah, i know, i know. but i've got to pick up acounter payment from the job center, see? yeah, no. this won't happen again. this is a one off.

yeah, i know, love,but please. i promise you i'll be 10minutes, at the most, late. i didn't realize i was going toget a phone call saying to be at the job center. i got a phone call afteri spoke to you, you know what i mean? i didn't realize thiswas going to happen. ok, my love, i'll be there. ok, thanks.

bye. ooh. she weren't happy. she bought it. oh, jesus. christ. ah, shit. i haven't got a lighter. fucking frank [inaudible].

right, this is the wire wool. you've got to burn this first toget the toxicity out of it. [accompanist plays choir'sbeginning pitches offscreen] [dunvant male voice choirsinging "si hei lwli madi"] andrew williamson: the goodthing about a glass pipe is residue collects, and youcan clean it out. and what you clean out is betterthan what you smoked the first time round. one more pipe, boys,and we're away.

fuck it. aw, i left your lighter,didn't i? ah, for fuck's sake. if it was better stuff, i'dstill be rushing my tits off, i'd still be-- [panting] [deep exhalation] andrew williamson: it's a bitof a double-edged sword, me arriving late.

she might have someone-- i was wondering, they might havesomeone waiting there to maybe arrest me for the theftof the magazines. ah, come on, mate. please. get out of the fucking way. oh my god, what'sthis traffic? it's driving me nuts. well, mate, i'm going toget out and run, yeah?

lee dennis: well, we've knowneach other years. i mean, we always used to bumpinto each other and talk. rachel rees: we used to havea nice chat, didn't we? lee dennis: i mean, she'sa tidy girl, like. rachel rees: my ex was givingme a few hidings here and there, like. dennis is there. have a chat with dennis-- this,that, and the other. tidy guy.

and that's how weclicked, really. lee dennis: i mean, i'vealways had a little soft spot for her. rachel rees: we'll see how itgoes from here now, isn't it? lee dennis: yeah. rachel rees: just take it day byday and help each other out as much as we can. lee dennis: february 27,i got out of jail. but when i moved in here,it was stinking.

this is my bedroom. i'm gonna put mybed down here. put the bed down here-- i got my bedside cabinet-- and lay the carpet and put mywardrobes down here and my chest of drawers behindthe door. rachel rees: you can't putit in your ear, can he? lee dennis: it's allright like that. that's my first ever swanseacity tattoo--

the proudest ever. i've been to a few prisons, aswell, and i always wear it with pride, always walk aroundwith my top off. and i want to get clean. i'm starting treatment now onthe 26th of this month. because i tattooed myself injail, i had test results done. i had a letter then fromthe nurse, saying come down and see me. i need to see you urgently.

and when i went down, she says,i'm very sorry, but you have got hep c. i'm gonnatry a cupboard, put a cupboard up on here. i'm gonna paint the ceiling. i'm gonna paint that. it'll probably be tomorrow. and look, there'sbits of blood. when you're cooking upand that, you draw the blood into yourself.

and when you draw so much in,there's a little bit of blood left in, and theyjust squirt it. there was some onhere as well. i put a bit on there. my stereo's in my mum's it is. what kind of musicdo you like? lee dennis: i like all differenttypes of music. i got loads of music here. r&b, garage, r&b, fleetwoodmac seven wonders--

if i live to see theseven wonders. rachel rees: therewas an abscess. i had to go in for an operationon that, because i missed there. you know, basically, myveins are kaput now. that's going intoanother abscess. that one's not too bad. if i wasn't on the heroin, i'dcry my eyes out for my kids now, you know?

don't get me wrong, i lovethem all to bits, but you know, i can't really see themwhile i'm in this predicament. lee dennis: this is gonnago up in my bedroom. rachel rees: otherway round, babes. lee dennis: is that all right? rachel rees: the otherway, babes. lee dennis: (singing) when i wasjust a little boy, i asked my mother, what shall i be? shall i be swansea?

shall i be scum? this is what she said to me. take your father's gun, andshoot the cardiff scum. forever will be, my son. you'll always be swansea. who are we? jack army! lee anderson: lee anderson, inswansea, like, in a shared flat, with smackheads,down and outs.

clint ryan jones: aye. all right? this is clint, the oldfamous clinty. this is a friend's bedsit,as they call it. he said i could stay here for acouple of days, so i've made myself a room. [farting] lee anderson: oh, had tocome out, didn't it? clint ryan jones: i started aprogram now with methadone.

it's done me a world of good. for some people, it'llmake them worse. and then they have aheroin habit on top of a methadone habit. lee anderson: it's peoplelike clint are stupid. they think it's the answer. but it's not. interviewer (offscreen):you disagree with him? clint ryan jones: it's goingagain in a minute.

clint ryan jones: right. better out than in, isn't it? you know what i mean? because i went off the heroin,and when i get to that point when it's making me better, i'llstop using heroin, and then eventually, in a couple ofmonths, gradually come off the methadone. and i'll be a brand new, squeakyclean person again. lee anderson: withrotten teeth.

kristian evans: i've been onit since i can remember-- 14, which is the bestpart of my life. clint ryan jones: anyway,i'm just doing about my day to day thing. come on, let's go downthe shop now. kristian evans: is it? lee anderson (offscreen):come along if you want. kristian evans: hm? well, if it's all about him--he's a fucking idiot.

clint ryan jones: before i hadthe bedsit, this is where we used to go up to have a dig. "dig up" means inject yourheroin and what have you. bish, bash, bosh. lee anderson: look,there's pin tops. look, there, wherehe's standing. clint ryan jones: this is wherewe used to go for a pipe, down here. this is where we used to go.

lee anderson: we started-- we get the needles from there. kristian evans: it'sour fault why the needles are down there. lee anderson: yeah. people should clean up. kristian evans: theygive us things-- clint ryan jones: hang on, letme put this camera right now. hang on.

it's not our fault the needlesare down there. we clean up whatwe used to use. kristian evans: yeah, yeah. clint ryan jones: months ago,when i used to come here, i always used to take my doingswith me and put them in the same bin and take them backto the drug project. the dirty smackheads that arearound that leave needles about then and what have you-- we are the clean smackheads,the user.

we are users, not smackheads. whoa, watch you don't sit onany fucking needles, mate. kristian evans: i would havethought the heroin consumption-- considering that 90% of heroincomes from afghanistan, how much has come into the country,considering a our british troops-- clint ryan jones: but it'snot all about fucking afghanistan, really.

why are we using it, you know? kristian evans: yes, i know. but the documentary'sabout how there's been such an increase. clint ryan jones: yeah, butthey want to know about swansea and things-- why are we using it so much? and basically, at theend of the day-- kristian evans: well, i wasn'ttalking about that.

clint ryan jones: why? because there's boredom. kristian evans: i think thata lot of heroin addicts are using the actual, "oh, i'maddicted to heroin" to get away with the way that they'relooking, the way that they talk to people, and theactual way that they live their lifestyle. i like to think that i'veproven them all wrong. i've been a heroin addict sincei was 18 years of age,

which is nearly 10 years. yeah, i'm well known around townfor shoplifting to fund for my habit. but fingers crossed, that ifsomeone walked past me in the street, they wouldn'tthink that i was a dodgy-looking bastard-- excuse my french-- and consider me to look like atypical smackhead like you see off trainspotting, you know?

i can't see any reason why ican't turn my life around. lee anderson: [inaudible]. clint ryan jones: ok, wehaving a dig, are we? man (offscreen): yeah. clint ryan jones: positivemental attitude, as i put underneath. you know, i wake up in the bedin the morning, and i thought, i see the sign that'son the wall. so i look and i think, right.

pma, pma-- positive mental attitude. so, at the end of the day,positive mental attitude. right, what am i goingto do today? straight to the chemist--they'll have my methadone-- positive mental attitude. there's one. number two, go and scorea fucking bag. positive mental attitude,yeah?

my spelling's not toogood, though. sorry. i just want to be part of mykids and my ex-wife, you know? i just want the chanceto be a daddy, yeah? i love my babies. i said to myself, pma. i'm going to stop using any typeof drug before i get in touch with my children everagain, because it wouldn't be fair on my children if iwas to go, oh, that's

my daddy, that is. ah, but your daddy's a junkie. cornelius collins (offscreen):my old man's never been on the streets, homeless. he's just been a junkie and adrug dealer most of his life, and a burglar, and inand out of jail. he's not selling drugs at themoment or committing crime, but he's still using drugs. sean collins: pleasedon't litter or

urinate on the stairs. they want to put with that "oruse needles." that's for them to have a boot, smoke the heroinon the foil that's probably two days,between three. interviewer (offscreen): so howmany do you drink a day? sean collins: about 12 each. about 12 each, yeah. come on. come on, celine.

libby collins (offscreen): no,you can't have a joint. male speaker (offscreen):of course we can. male speaker: yeah, you can. libby collins (offscreen):where's my can, then? hang on, let me have a can. carlo: can you just get onebetween me and you? libby collins: why? dad. sean collins (offscreen):i put it on top of

there, right by you. libby collins: four cans, dad! cornelius collins:yeah, no, it is. sorry, i've picked yours up. libby collins: dad, come here. dad, just come here a sec. it's in your hand. sean collins: it's not. i just opened it.

libby collins: yeah, and you'vegot one in the fridge. come here. sean collins: no, i haven't. libby collins: yes, you have. that one in the fridgeis yours, daddy. cornelius collins: that's carlo,my sister's boyfriend. this is my sister, libby. libby collins: hi. cornelius collins (offscreen):my old man, sean.

dad's mate, darren. and my missus, amy, whoyou've met already. carlo: well, i've known her foryears, but we recently got to meet on the streets, yeah? libby collins: yeah, wemet drinking in town. carlo: in town. drinking in town. interviewer (offscreen):in the last four years, everyone's said there's been alot more heroin in swansea.

is that true? libby collins: oh, yeah. sean collins: lots of it. you've got to go backfrom the '60s. you've got to take it fromthe '60s, really. you could do chemists,and it'd be amazing. you know, it's be wooden-- male speaker (offscreen):morphine and-- sean collins: shut up.

shh. shut up. libby collins (offscreen):people of these days, they're just growing up-- carlo (offscreen): they'regrowing up around it. yeah. libby collins (offscreen):everybody's doing gear, because everybody's doing it. you know, people just don't carenow, because their mother

or their father or theirbrother or their cousin is doing it. they're all doing it. sean collins: it don't make nodifference about your mother or your father-- male speaker (offscreen):of course it do. sean collins: it's about you. it's about you. it's your brain.

libby collins (offscreen):look at kids now. 10, 20 years ago, itwas different. look at them now. sean collins: and yet my-- libby collins (offscreen):[inaudible] no, hang on. i'm not saying it's the parents'responsibility. what i'm saying is, if you'reround people doing it. if your mother and your father,your aunt and your

uncle, or anybody that's aroundyou 24/7 is on heroin, obviously, you're goingto take it. i'm not blaming youor mammy, dad. i'm just saying, i got suckedinto the wrong circle. darren: [inaudible]. sean collins: right. hang on, now. how did you get suckedinto it? i never used in front of you.

your mother never usedin front of you. cornelius collins: right. as a kid, i did catch you dosedup on the toilet with the works in your arms. shit like that. sean collins: yeah. cornelius collins:right, started smoking fags and drinking. then i went to smoking dope.

then i went to smokingdope with you. seeing you smoking dope oncei'd started smoking dope. but that's part ofit, isn't it? drink and drugs. that's the circle you're in. libby collins (offscreen): heshouldn't have been should he? cornelius collins: not now,i've got an abscess. sean collins: i know. i've never laid afinger on him.

i think once i hityou, didn't i? one time. libby collins (offscreen):don't get into this now. speak to these questions. sean collins: and thatwas in another house. amy protheroe: how long wasyou homeless for, carlo? carlo: i'm luckyat the moment. i've got a girlfriend witha flat at the moment. so god knows what's gonna happenif she kicks me out.

libby collins: well, if you werea bit nicer, you wouldn't be worrying, would you, love? cornelius collins: how manytimes have you been into detox and rehab and whatever? sean collins: detox. i've been to detox about-- cornelius collins:10, 12 times? sean collins: 10, 12 times. i didn't stay that long.

cornelius collins: my motherand father split up-- amy protheroe: ask if hismother got clean. cornelius collins: when i 13. my mother got clean. i stayed with dad. sean collins: not myfault, i said. look at her, stickingher oar in. cornelius collins: in and outof detox, rehab, whatever. libby collins (offscreen): mammyand daddy fought fucking

and got clean for 8 weeks. sean collins: it'll belike jeremy kyle now. cornelius collins:i just pissed a whole day on that one. sean collins: let me tellyou something now. she's one bitch. cornelius collins: ah, dad,give it up now, will you? don't speak abouther like that. it's not nice.

sean collins: all right,she's not a bitch. i didn't mean to insultdogs, sorry. amy protheroe: it'sa long story. sean collins: no, it's not. it's a short story. if i have a minute with my son,amy seems to think that that little bit of love in thatminute, she's losing. she won't allow us aboutfive minutes together. amy protheroe: you're thesame, though, sean.

sean collins: quiet. hurry up, because you've gotone minute now, right? [music - dunvant malevoice choir singing] sean collins: i used tobeat you when you were a little baby. libby collins: shut up, dad. sean collins: all i'msaying is the truth. she's one evil person. [all chattering]

libby collins: come on,then, sit up here. cornelius collins: cheese. it's a chaotic familyi got, isn't it? libby collins: there'llbe no chaos. excuse me, you've gota loving family. [choir singing] male speaker (offscreen): in theold days, the way to get out of a situation was boxing. if you wanted to earn a bit ofmoney, you wanted to become a

professional, you wanted toget a bit of money, people went into boxing. so it was physical. the working environmentwas more physical. now we look around, andthere's no jobs left for the kids. and, same as anything else, theywant to make a few bob. and then you've got the peoplewho've got these drugs. right, ok, go and sell these.

take them into schoolyards,where, i know from personal experience, 11 year olds havebeen given cannabis and things in schoolyards. and it comes down to an economicclimate, if you like. that person will grow up to be18, 19, perhaps meet a girl, get married-- drug problem is still there. the children see the parentswith a drug problem, and it's just a never-ending circle.

when the factories closed downand the docks closed down, and you've got the coal tippersgone from the docks. bp closed down. then the steel companycut back. and then you got all thebuilding firms that were pulling out. depression can do a lot ofthings to a lot of people. i can understand why these kidsget so depressed and turn to something like drugs,alcohol, whatever.

it's a sad indictment of oursociety that at 30 years of age, you're on therubbish heap. male speaker: it's not thatthe city was changed. it's the people that's changedit's all about derelict warehouses on the backof the strand down there, for instance. they're now about to be takenover by a lap dancing company. so, showing your knickers offin a club for a couple of quid-- that's ok, is it?

i don't think so. all i can say is only a totalidiot would pay money at the door to go in and watchcrap like that. and if i had a grandchild-- and i've got a couple ofgranddaughters, actually, well, three-- i would hammer them with that. female speaker (offscreen): thisis just basically my job at the moment, whichis really good.

it's good fun, pouring alcoholdown each other's necks, getting wet, breathingfire, stripping off. like, trying something differentand wearing really sexy, beautiful clothes. female speaker: myparents know. yeah, they thinkit's brilliant. it gives me confidence. i wasn't normally aconfident person. it's given me a worldof confidence.

i really enjoy it. female speaker (offscreen):yeah, my parents think it's awesome. my nan actually thinksit's amazing. she said if she was like 60years younger, she'd do it. but, yeah, she's abit old to do it. but they love it. female speaker (offscreen): mymum wants to come do it too. she wants to come and dancearound the poles.

female speaker (offscreen): ithink they're actually proud of the fact that we're goingout there, and we're independent females who can dothis kind of thing and just be amazingly proud of it. we have a really good time. [dog barking] male speaker: i've been livinghere for 12 years. interviewer (offscreen): yeah,and how old are you now? male speaker: 13.

interviewer (offscreen): ok. and how old are you? male speaker: 14. male speaker: prostitutesall the way down there. male speaker: in thoseflats there. male speaker: goofy as hell. they've got [inaudible]all over-- one girl, all over her teeth. she hadn't got none.

they were false. loads of boys speak abouther and that-- like loads of junkiesand all that. interviewer (offscreen): whatdo they do, the junkies? male speaker (offscreen):inject themselves on the street. male speaker (offscreen): coupleof them died the other day up there, didn't they? male speaker: yeah.

a boy, he took valium,isn't it? and he died then. male speaker (offscreen): no,i don't like the muslims. interviewer (offscreen):you don't like them. why not? male speaker: becausethey wouldn't like it if we all emigrated. they wouldn't like it if we allemigrated over to their countries, so why should theycome over to our country?

male speaker: yeah, and theycomes down here, works, gets the money, and thengoes back to their country and spends it. they don't spend it here. taha idris: when somebody hasgot no job, no income, et cetera, and you go and tellthem, have you seen the people out there, the black peopletaking our jobs? people tend to believethat sort of thing. swansea's a verypeaceful place.

you know, it has always beena very peaceful place. i've lived here for almost 40years, and i can honestly say that there has never beenany major discord. the only time i've ever seen abig protest, demonstration in swansea, where people actuallyjoined in thousands, was protesting against the killingof kala kawa karim, or anything of that nature. female speaker: hey! who is it?

who are you? taha idris: goodness me. female speaker: abdul! taha idris: why? taha idris: yeah,come on through. interviewer (offscreen):who are you? female speaker (offscreen):abdul! interviewer (offscreen):"abdul." taha idris: there we are.

that's what happens. you get used to it, honestly. you get used to it. and you start thinking, well,if there is that sort of attitudes around, you can'tdo anything about it. cornelius collins: a mosque? fuck. are you taking the piss, man? why do they want toopen another--

a wosque-- a mosque, whenthere's one opposite? there's one across the road. amy protheroe: i got arrestedfor being racist, right? but he said somethingbehind my back. cornelius collins: he calledher white trash, so she slapped him and smasheda window. he says to her, show me yourtits, and i'll give you free kebab meat. cheeky cunt, innit he?

male speaker: fuck off. all chanting: nazi scum,off our streets! male speaker: what, then? what, then? police officer: i wantyour full name. [chanting and shouting] male speaker: justcharge forward. give it some of that. male speaker: swansea'sa good town.

it's a good town. as long everybody gets on. if you don't get on, well, youcan't make it, can you? i say there's enough room inthe world for everybody, as long as somebody givessome space. cornelius collins: hey, hey. what's happening, boys? oh, a lot of old billabout, isn't it? fucking filth everywhere, man.

oh, they're doing a-- there's my old man, look! amy protheroe: there he is. that's his-- cornelius collins:mr. collins. sean collins: how's it going? how's things? cornelius collins: rememberthis one, do ya? sean collins: where's the bin?

cornelius collins: youall right, man? sean collins: well, i went tothat bnp thing, and i thought, well, it's a load of fucking-- what's going on? but we do need the jobsfor our boys. and most of them areillegal immigrants. there's no black onthe union jack. there is no white on thestars and stripes. amy protheroe: [inaudible].

cornelius collins: oy, it'd benice if we was working again, dad, wouldn't it? get him off the drugs. amy protheroe: oh, look what hebought me for my birthday. cornelius collins: i'm tryingto get back on the big issue, i am. sean collins: i don't wantthem two to get married. cornelius collins: why? sean collins: would you?

too many-- cornelius collins:we're in love. sean collins: yeah, right. sean collins: i reallydon't want my son to marry this girl. cornelius collins:come on, then. sean collins: she dragshim down, man. since he's been withher, it's like he's gone into the gutter.

she drags him down, man. i don't know why he loves her. love is blind, so they say. i don't know. and it's a sad thing. i'm really sorryfor my son now. i'm sorry for her, forwhat happened-- what she said, you know? that she was abused and that.

amy protheroe: he's notjust my boyfriend. he's my soulmate, my bestfriend, and he's the love of my life. sean collins: i loves him. he loves me. amy protheroe: iloves him, too. sean, why don't weget on, darling? sean collins: whatdo you reckon? amy protheroe: wedo and we don't.

sean collins: you'rea bitch, man. cornelius collins: shutit, you, you cunt. sean collins: well,you asked me why. i'm telling the truth. you are a bitch. eh? you are a bitch, you know. interviewer (offscreen): hepulled your hair out? amy protheroe: yeah.

and he smashed the phone up. sean collins (offsreen):i did, yes. i shouldn't have, but i did. i am very sorry. you know that, don't you? cornelius collins:the collins clan. the collins clan. clint ryan jones: hello. how are you?

interviewer (offscreen):how are you? clint ryan jones: allright, thank you. interviewer (offscreen):good to see you. clint ryan jones:i've cleaned up. i'm clean. interviewer (offscreen):you are? clint ryan jones:yeah, i'm clean. i've sorted my head out sincethe last time you've seen me. i went on a detox.

and then, that didn'twork for me. i relapsed. and then they put me ona methadone program. ah, that's better, isn't it? i've come a long way since youlast seen me, you know? interviewer (offscreen): yeah. clint ryan jones: it's nice tosee you fellows, anyway. you too, man. you too.

positive mental attitude. clint ryan jones: yeah. pma. clint ryan jones:it does work. clint ryan jones (offscreen):i've really improved and things. i'm much happier. like, i want to go back tocollege and study social-- is it care?

i'm saving up now for mydaughter, for when i get to see her, to give her a loadof presents and things. because i don't want to bedependent on methadone. no, no way. liquid handcuffs,they call it. that's what they call it--liquid handcuffs, because you've got to stay in the areato take that liquid every day to stop you from being ill. it's impossible.

it's every other door aroundhere is selling it. or if they haven't got it, youknow, it's only down around the corner have got it. you know, it's easy to geta hold of-- so easy to get a hold of. it is. it's getting really worse. it's getting terrible. because of the demand?

clint ryan jones: well, it'snot so much as that. it's the money that's beingmade off it, you know? people are making thousandsupon thousands of pounds off it. i'm ashamed to say iused to sell it. i used to make, easy,1,500 pounds a day. and i'd still be livinglike a scruff. i'd do a snowball,as they call it-- mix heroin with crack andhave one hell of a

fantastic head on. but you've still got to wakeup to the same shit the following day, you know? i've turned my life aroundnow, and i've sorted myself out. and i wouldn't dare touchanother bag of it in my life. cornelius collins: hey, cat. guess what we done yesterday? interviewer (offscreen): whathappened yesterday?

cornelius collins: lostour fucking money. amy gets paid on a wednesday. i get paid on thursday. she's coming. said she had the car. there she is. she's crying. cornelius collins: amy, wouldyou be nice and not hit me? you poured cider allover my hair, man.

cornelius collins: what? why? amy, why? because you fucking-- amy protheroe: youfucked my mother. cornelius collins: i didn'tfuck your mother. amy. amy protheroe: i'm homeless. look what you've done.

cornelius collins: lookwhat i've done. hold on. right, amy? it's either do that, right,or hit you back? what do you want me to do? do you want a punch? or do you want a fuckingdribble of cider chucked at you? i'm not having it, amy.

amy, your mother and fogeyyesterday, right, told me and you you're lucky i haven'tfucking hit you. that's what they said. you're lucky you haven'thad a fucking hiding. do you know if you weren'tmy girlfriend-- cornelius collins: amy,fuck off, right? amy protheroe: he's alwaysabandoning me. i've fucked my own mother. her lips are long, man.

don't they sag down a bit? cornelius collins (offscreen):i know you've fucked your own mother, amy. you've told me, man. amy protheroe: don't theysag down a bit? cornelius collins: fuck off. you knows i wouldn'tshag your mother. would you risk shagging yourgirlfriend's mother when your girlfriend's on the settee,you're out in the kitchen

looking for cider with yourgirlfriend's mother. and her boyfriend-- no, her mother's boyfriend--is upstairs, who's fucking loopy, who's been to jail forkidnapping and smashing people's toes off. and he's fucking psychoto the max. would you risk shagginghis missus downstairs while he's upstairs? would you?

interviewer (offscreen):i wouldn't. cornelius collins:would you, adam? interviewer (offscreen):mm-mm. cornelius collins: would do? interviewer (offscreen): no. cornelius collins:so fuck you. i wouldn't neither. you knows i don'tlike violence. you knows i don'tlike fighting.

so am i gonna risk havingmy fucking hand chopped off with an axe? cornelius collins:not my problem. i'll give you one glassand that's it. i'm not having you takea piss ut of me. telling me i shagged yourfucking mother. how are you so insecure? amy protheroe: corneil, i paidthe money [inaudible]. cornelius collins: why don'tyou go do a punter?

quicker than begging,isn't it? amy protheroe: i hadto beg for the 17 pounds my mother robbed. and i'm only allowedto have one. can i have the cider? it's just gonna make me ill. cornelius collins: fuckingfill your glass up, and shut up. you're being dopey.

cornelius collins: oh, wellfuck off then, if you're gonna go. i just don't know whyyou're being nasty. amy protheroe: fillit up, will you? fuck's sake. cornelius collins: look atthe way you're talking. get off my-- hey. kick my glass on the floor. get all dirt all over it.

thanks. i'm in agony, right? yesterday, she punched me fourtimes in the bollocks. and she's fucked my other--she's fucked my only decent bollock up. one's fucked already from 11years ago, as she knows, and she's gonna fucking punchme four times. and i've got a pain in mystomach at the moment. my bollocks are fuckingkilling.

amy protheroe (offscreen):you're fucking lying. cornelius collins: i'm lying? did you know i had a fuckingdodgy bollock, then? cornelius collins: was is muchbigger than the other one? amy protheroe (offscreen):don't know. you don't know. amy protheroe: why can'tyou give me some cider? cornelius collins (offsreen):i just gave you a glass. amy protheroe: i want youto give me some more.

cornelius collins: all right,[inaudible], huh? are you going toknock it over? cornelius collins(offsreen): amy. cornelius collins: what amy protheroe (offscreen):[inaudible] cornelius collins: oh, phwor. poor little amy. lee dennis (offscreen): i feela lot better in myself. i mean i've been cleannow a good few weeks.

there's a few boys on thebikes by here, look. [engines revving] lee dennis (offscreen):little kids, eh? some mad times we used tohave up here as kids-- setting cars on fire. good boy. the rabbits and the hares andthat-- many times we'd come up here, early hours of themorning, and you could see eyes running everywhere.

we used to try to chasing themin a stolen car and try killing them and stuffyou know what i mean? off our face, drunk and stuff,you know what i mean? many times, the farmer used tocome out with his rice gun and shoot us with his rice-- rice cartridges. and they used to sting likehell, especially if they catch you on the arse, like. you know, i wish i'd stuck withthe old crowd, instead of

all the heroin usersand stuff. years ago, i could count a goodfew friends on my hand. but now, they disowned me, typeof thing, for the heroin. if i'd known how bad heroin was,i wouldn't have tried it. it's a bad drug. it' a dirty drug. but it's a nice drug as well. it's a nice feeling off it. now, i wake up in the morning, igo down to get my methadone,

i drink my methadone, and i tryto keep myself occupied then by going over to mysister's or my mum's that i made when i was inprison before. interviewer (offscreen):you did? lee dennis: yeah, gypsy caravanout of matches. nodding head-- when i put my reggae on, hishead rocks back and forth. drug testing kit that i done yesterday, which is a negative.

they test you for heroinand crack cocaine. and there's two lines-- negative. now i just want to be normalnow, try and get myself a decent job. interviewer (offscreen):when you look back on it, how do you feel? lee dennis: tell youthe truth, man, i think i'm an asshole.

put my family through somuch shit and trouble. many a times, i said i've loveto move away and that, but really, i won't. it's my hometown, and all myfamily are in swansea. i don't think i'veever move away. amy protheroe: if i didn't havecorneil, i think i would have killed myself by now. he's what keeps me going. you're my rock, aren't you?

cornelius collins: oh, baby. amy protheroe: he's my rock. well, we loves each otherto bits, don't we? cornelius collins:we do, yeah. cornelius collins: welove each other. amy protheroe: we're engaged. he got me an engagementring for my 18th birthday, remember? cornelius collins: just founda bottle of wine.

that is when i had student ofthe year award in swansea college, tychoch college, fornvq level 1 business studies. or was it level 2? i can't remember now. level 2, i think it was. no, gnvq foundation level 1. and i look like igot lipstick on. amy protheroe: he done acatering course, business studies course.

cornelius collins:what's that say? amy protheroe: haveyou got fucking lip balm on or something? cornelius collins: don't i looklike i got lipstick on? i look weird, don't i, man? amy protheroe: i love you. see, look at that. look at all that-- all stale blood.

cornelius collins: seethis bit here? that was all up the wall. it was a shit hole. amy protheroe: lookat my pillow case. there's blood on it. he got me all of my shampoos. these shampoos-- he didn'tget me cheap ones. he got me that. he got me perfume.

cornelius collins:do you like that? from next, but i didn't actuallyhave it in next. it was three or four quid inone of the charity shops. amy protheroe: hebought me that. i haven't worn it yet. look, al the tagsare still on it. cornelius collins (offscreen):knickers amy protheroe: my pajama set-- my minnie mouse.

i'd love to be pretty. cornelius collins (offscreen):you are pretty. amy protheroe: me? i looks like a fucking dog. cornelius collins (offscreen):shut up, twat. amy protheroe: i'm fat. look at the size of me. look how fat i am. cornelius collins: she'snot fat, is she?

amy protheroe: aren't i fat? my ass is huge. cornelius collins: you'remore of a twat than fat. turn around and showthem your feet. cornelius collins: no, idon't want to do that. amy protheroe: don'tbe a big baby. turn around. if you love me, you will. cornelius collins: stop it.

look, look. they're not well, are they? lift your foot up. cornelius collins: no way. stop it, man. it's embarrassing. amy protheroe: please. cornelius collins: the red'sburning right there. it's all burning.

amy protheroe (offscreen):he's been crying. every time he walks, it's likehe's just been bum raped. cornelius collins: it'scalled trench foot. they used to get in the war. yeah, i bought the trainers. was it me that boughtthe trainers? cornelius collins: she wokeup, and somebody had taken them off her fuckingfeet, man. amy protheroe: mylittle zebra.

what's he do now? how do you do it? [cowboy-like shoutingfrom toy] cornelius collins (offscreen):woohoo. amy protheroe: my mothersent me to live with this bloke, right? he was 31 and i was 13. he used to make me sleep withhis friends and that. they used to know whatwas going on.

they used to watchhim beat me up. and they used to watchhim send me to the bedroom with other men. and my mother did nothing,because he used to give her 50 pounds' worth of heroinfor free. i had to have sex withmy mother and her partner as well. so it hasn't been a reallygood life, but-- it's tough, isn't it?

cornelius collins (offscreen):let's talk about something else, amy. amy protheroe: the first timehis father ever hit me, his father misplaced 20 pounds. and we didn't have it. i had my maternity grant. i was six months pregnant. his father threw me on thefloor, ripped my hair out, slapped me in the face, spat onmy face, and within three

weeks, the baby died. [music - dunvant malevoice choir singing "si hei lwli mabi"] female speaker (offscreen):are you ready, boys? clint ryan jones: this is theone now, "don't do drugs." some of my friendssang some of it. female singer (offscreen): i wassitting on a log and along came a frog. he said, do you wantto smoke some pot?

i said, i'd rather not. he said he slung hash, comeon and give me your cash. you mean you want my money? you must be tryingto be funny. i don't do drugs. clint ryan jones: i relapseda fortnight ago. so i went to put a needlein, and i missed. and it went in to an abscess. i've lost my wife,my three kids.

now, all i want in life is tobe a family and to be loved. i've never been loved. i've never had a mother orfather that loved me. basically, i was abused. instead of having a cutch,i'd be fucking punched around, you know? but i am going to be the bestdaddy going when i get to the stage i can say, fuck it. i don't want no more.

that was me demonstrating on thevery last fucking bag i'll ever do in my wholeentire life. i missed a bit. but there's the fucking hole itleft me with, which isn't a fucking pleasurable sight,as you can see. mums, dads, don't turn yourback on your children. always be there. give them plenty of loveand attention. once chance you haveof living.

don't blow it. that's all for now. nice one. clint ryan jones. thank you. clint ryan jones: clean andserene for 30 days. clean and serenefor six months. interviewer (offscreen):how did you get the six months one?

clint ryan jones: because iwas clean for six months. interviewer (offscreen): when? clint ryan jones: when wasi clean for six months? no, three months iwas clean for. they gave me thewrong keyring. [music - dunvant malevoice choir]


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